A good reminder

Am I Better Off Now? – Post two

Last week I posted about whether I was better off now than I was four years ago as a gay man. You can read that post here. The answer was an absolute “yes”. Now I need to really look at my live from a financial standpoint and ask the same question.

Am I better off now financially than I was 4 years ago?

The first area to look at is income. I am a private practice speech-language pathologist working with disabled children in their homes. I have recently started a greeting card business, but that is still in the start-up phase, so we’ll take that out of the equation.

My income is approximately the same. I got divorced in 2010, but I was paying my ex-wife the same alimony and child support as I was in 2008, when we were legally separated. So although my taxable income is less since my ex-wife and I no longer file jointly, the overall income between the two of us is the same. My husband’s income from his part-time job is about the same as well. As a foreign student here from Canada on a student visa, he is only allowed to work 20 hours, which works out well since he is in school full-time.

Tax rates have not changed, thanks to President Obama fighting to keep taxes low until the economy has improved.

My outflow has increased because my daughter has started college, but my child growing up cannot be blamed on any political party. My husband’s tuition has increased, but that tends to happen regardless of the economy. So my outflow is more, but not because of any one policy.

Taxes – Here’s where I have an issue. Before 2011, I filed jointly with my ex-wife. Now, because of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), a law the Obama administration has refused to defend because it is unconstitutional (as has been found by numerous federal judges), I am not allowed to file jointly with my lawfully wedded husband. I understand that, since there is a constitutional amendment in Colorado, my marriage cannot be recognized here, but state taxes impact me far less than federal taxes. Because we cannot file jointly, I miss out on many deductions afforded straight married couples, including claiming Michael’s tuition and medical expenses (he had a serious surgery in 2011 which has been a huge out of pocket expense). I cannot even claim him as a dependent. Basically, even though we have a valid marriage license from the state of New York, we are treated by the government as complete strangers.

The impact on my personal taxes in 2011 was huge. Can I blame Obama for that? No. Who can I blame? John Boehner and the other GOP leaders who are using large sums of tax payer money to defend a law that is, according to liberal and conservative justices alike, based solely on animus toward the LGBT community.

So I guess overall I am not better off than I was four years ago, but be sure I will never vote for someone who not only does not recognize my rights as an American citizen, but has pledged to the religious right that he will do everything in his power to make sure that those rights are denied by a Constitutional Amendment. Do we really need a leader who wants to right discrimination into our constitution? I sure don’t.

Telling It Like It Is – A Mother worries about what she’ll need to tell her gay son

This article by Amelia from Huffington Post’s Gay Voices should be required reading for every American. Although written from a parent’s point of view, it beautifully illustrates not only the hardships of growing up gay in American, but highlights the many ways gays are discriminated against in this country. This wonderful mother has celebrated her son’s coming out at age 6 (when he told her he was “just like” Blain and Kurt on Glee) and she has been an advocate for gay children ever since. But being a realist, she has discussed the problems she knows he’ll face in a bigoted world.

I am always amazed at how little my friends know about the inequalities the LGBT community face… but before I came out 5 years ago, I was nearly as ignorant as they are. Please read this article and pass it on to everyone you know! As more people understand the challenges we face everyday, the sooner those challenges will begin to fade. Little by little, the wall of injustice and misunderstanding will be knocked down.

Click here for the entire article

Fear

What a great reminder!

The Cheeky Trio at Pride

A very tame and lovely Pride in Boulder. I had a lot of people compliment my cards… My favorite quote, “Wow! Cards for us!”

The guys below made me smile…. They were so serious.

Boulder Pride

Heading out to Boulder Pride – I’ll be selling Homoquotables Cards and enjoying a beautiful day. Hope to see you there! I’ll be posting pictures throughout the day.

Coming Out

Loved this so much! What a wonderful thought… one day.

Two Spirit People

From WHOF

Marriage News Watch – September 10, 2012

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIxtSZtS1Pw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Am I Better Off? Post One

With the Republican and Democratic national conventions over and the final push from both sides before this November’s election, the question keeps coming up “Are you better off than you were four years ago.” As a progressive and Obama supporter, my gut reaction is to yell “yes!” without even thinking about it… but that isn’t really fair. It’s an appropriate question that gets asked before every major election. So I started thinking about it… am I better off? I decided to look at the Various aspects of my life to see.

As a Gay Man

In the past four years, a lot has been achieved in the struggle for equality for LGBT Americans. Personnaly, I have benefited from some of those changes directly:

My then partner, Michael, needed major surgery in 2010 that kept him in the hospital for several days. Because of the official memo issued by President Obama in 2010, I was allowed be designated to make all medical decisions on Michael’s behalf. Before his surgery, I was allowed to go to the pre-op area and wait with him when while he was prepped for surgery. During his surgery, I was given updates by the staff, and after it was done, the surgeon came out and told me how it all went. I was allowed to go to the recovery room immediately after he woke up and was able to hold his hand and tell him how wonderfully he had done. I was able to stay with him in the room and check on him throughout the nights he was there. Would I have been able to do these things regardless of the memo? Maybe, but knowing that the hospital had to acknowledge me as Michael’s family gave me huge piece of mind.
In March of 2012, Michael and I flew to NYC and got married – an amazing day that allowed me to look into the man I love’s eyes and say “my husband”… an indescribably good feeling!
In 2011, the president directed the Department of Justice to stop enforcing the Defense of Marriage Act – a law specifically designed to keep gay and lesbian citizens at a “less than” status. With DOMA, legally married gay couples are denied over 1500 rights afforded straight married couples. The President’s decision was heralded by some and villified by others, but since then the law has been found unconstitutional by 5 separate federal courts – many of the judges on those panels appointed by conservatives. It was a bold move that is directly responsible for the rapid pace of change in both the polls and the courts. I am sure it will be struck down eventually, possibly by next spring – the appeals process has lead to 3 cases that may be heard by the Supreme Court in their next session this fall.
As my husband is from Canada, the president’s decision to have ICE prioritize immigration cases, same-sex couples are now among the lowest priority. Since Michael is here legally on a student visa, this doesn’t affect us yet, but it gives us some piece of mind that if something does happen that jeopardizes his immigration status, we have time.
Although not a member of the military nor a veteran, the repeal of the discriminatory law “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” has made a huge difference in how gays and lesbians see themselves and how we are seen by others.
The day the president came out as personally supporting marriage equality, I actually started crying. To have the most powerful leader in the world supporting my right to be married to the man I love was overwhelming.
Hearing that the DNC had adopted marriage equality for the parties’ official, national platform was another reminder that equality was not only inevidable, but being actively pursued by an entire politiacl party. Official statements have far reaching consequences in shaping public opionion and policy – again, we are headed toward equality at a quicker pace than anyone could have imagined four years ago

With each step toward full equality, we can all, gay and straight, hold our heads a little bit higher. As a gay man, I am definitely better off now that I was at the end of the Bush administration.